• (925) 480-7850
  • 5890 Stoneridge Drive, Suite 105,
    Pleasanton, CA 94588

California is a no-fault divorce state, which means that even if you cheated on your spouse, you will not be penalized in divorce court. At least not by the Judge. But make no mistake, if you end up in divorce court because of an affair, you are going to pay in time, public humiliation, and attorneys’ fees because a no-fault system provides no relief for a broken heart.

Often times, the hurt felt by your spouse will trickle into the disputes that the court will hear–who gets the china, the dog, and sadly the kids. The first two are expensive nuisances, but the latter is a tragedy. Children suffer the most in divorce because too often they become pawns in the game of Life.

So can I get a fair deal in mediation if I cheated on my spouse?

Honestly, it will be more difficult. The other spouse will feel betrayed and distrustful. The other spouse will want retribution. And I know, no matter what the circumstances around the affair were, you already feel bad enough about the situation. No one likes to hurt other people’s feelings. Affairs rarely happen in a vacuum. They are often a way of dealing with other problems in the relationship or with our own internal struggles to find worth and love.

When there has been an affair, there really is not an easy way out. But there are better ways than others. Mediation is a better way. In mediation, the dissolution is conducted in private. The court only sees paperwork that states that you are divorcing due to Irreconcilable Differences.

More beneficial than the lack of public humiliation; however, is the opportunity to communicate thoughts and feelings in a controlled and safe environment. We have rules in mediation that allow us to express ourselves without verbally battering each other.

And the fact is that while it may be painful to express and listen to the hurts suffered during your marriage, it is important to both spouses and the love you once shared to work through this pain and build a bridge to cross from the past into your futures. Building that bridge in mediation will make it sturdier and less costly than the alternative.  And for those of you with children, you will need a sturdy bridge for the children to cross so that they do not lose a parent, but rather gain a second home.

Let me help you build that bridge. Contact me today to set up your Free Mediation Information Call.

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