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Divorce and the Stay at Home Parent. In my experience, divorces in marriages with a stay at home parent are the most daunting for the parties. Both the stay at home parent and the breadwinner are terrified of what life after divorce will look like.  Their fears often manifest in high conflict during the divorce because each side is trying to preserve their sense of self.  For the stay at home parent, the concerns often arise around how they will continue to maintain the role of parent, nurturer, and teacher of the children while still keeping a roof overhead and food on the table. For the sole wage-earning parent, the concerns often arise around how will they take care of themselves, the kids, and maintain their status as the financial provider.

Often each spouse’s sense of self-worth is rooted in the role that they had in their family.  Rather than seeing the caretaker and breadwinner as roles that each has chosen to play; the parties see themselves as a caretaker or as a breadwinner. Divorce typically strips the spouses of these identities. It just is no longer possible to delegate these roles to the respective spouse. For one, the law expects both parties to be self-supporting and desires that the children have frequent and continuing contact with each parent. The practical effect: both parties will be employed full time and the children will spend time alone with each of their parents. After the divorce, you will be both the breadwinner and the caretaker. With the right approach, your transition into your new role can be smooth. Divorce Mediation is the right approach for many families making this transition.

So how can Mediation help us thrive after divorce?

Mediation can help both sides channel the anxiety they are feeling about the future into fact-finding and planning. When we work together, we can prepare both parties for their new roles. We consider different options and help each spouse find a solution they can confidently use. Through preparation, you can depart from your marriage with hope for the future.  Finding hope during a dark time will empower you and that power will give you the strength to support your children during this difficult time. I want to help you find that hope, but I can only do that if you contact me. The first call is free. You can even schedule online. Just click here to learn whether the Jarratt Law Firm’s divorce mediation program is right for you.

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