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Setting the stage: Your spouse has approached you and asked you for a divorce. Before you even know what hit you, she or he presents you with the names of a couple of divorce mediators and tells you to call them.  “Slow down Speed Racer,” might be your reaction. You might also be thinking, “why would I trust you to be fair with me in divorce mediation when you have been planning to leave me for who knows how long before you told me you wanted a divorce?” Your concerns are well founded. The prospect of sitting around a small conference table trying to reach agreements with someone who you are feeling rejected and abandoned by is pretty unpleasant. And trusting him or her at this point is pretty unlikely.

So Why Should I Agree to Divorce Mediation?

What benefit is there to Divorce Mediation for the spouse who didn’t chose a divorce? For one there is the money you will save in divorce mediation. Divorce involves attorneys and/or professionals fees, court costs, moving expenses, and a decrease in your total family income.  These costs are incurred no matter how you proceed; however, some divorce options are pricier than others. Divorce Mediation encourages you to preserve your resources to the benefit of your family. Divorce Litigation (going to court) does little more than pay lip service to preservation of your families assets.  And while at this moment you may not care if you spend your life savings so long as your spouse doesn’t get it either, I assure you that in time those feelings will pass. And when they do, you will be glad you didn’t allow your hurt feelings put you in the poorhouse. You have several options to chose from. If you want to know more about them, I recommend reading “I want a divorce. (But How do I get One?)”.

I also have an ebook that you can download which provides an indepth discussion of your divorce options comparing them on price, stress, and time involved. I also provide questionnaires to help you evaluate your fit for each method. You can download the ebook on our home page.

Besides saving money, are there any other benefits to mediation?

Great question. After all money isn’t everything. In divorce it is often the focal point because California is a no fault state so you are left to distribute property. In divorce mediation, your divorce discussions remain private. And there is a huge intangible benefit to not having to share your pain and hurt with a court room full of people. Mediators unlike Judge’s are able to take the time to empathize with your pain. And will often help you to see that you are not alone in the hurting. We have time to spend working with you and your spouse to get your through this dark time. We are trained in more than just the law, which gives divorce mediation a very different feel than divorce court.

Divorce mediation is usually much faster than divorce court. And the time spent getting divorced should be as short as possible without denying you the opportunity to gather information to make informed decisions. The faster you get through the divorce process, the sooner you can get to the healing that you need.

I hope you found this article helpful. I know you are in a lot of pain, and you are probably feeling angry, scared, confused and a whole host of emotions that are really overwhelming. I also hope you will consider divorce mediation where you should find a resource for addressing this mryiad of feelings you are experiencing.

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