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I have been co-parenting for over 7 years now. The good news is that our kids are thriving. The bad news is that our kids are thriving because I have learned to give in. Or at least that is how it feels. Truth be told, I bet my ex thinks the same thing only in his version he is the one who is always giving in. Our motivation for continuing to let the other person win? I cannot speak for him, but for me it is the joy of throwing my twin boys a joint birthday party.

Every year my ex and I collaborate so that our boys have only one birthday party. It may seem like something minuit to other people but to me the ability to provide our children with a birthday where both sides of their family and both of their parents are present is priceless. It makes compromising on bedtimes, television programming, and dietary choices seem small when in exchange I get to provide our children with birthday experiences that rival those of their friends’ with intact families.

The Greatest Skill A Co-Parent Can Learn is to Accept Your Reality

You may be wondering how I let all of these crucial differences in our parenting styles go. How can I ignore that the fact that dad thinks it is appropriate for the boys to eat cheetos for dinner. My secret? I practice acceptance. I practice accepting that not everything regarding my children is within my control. I practice accepting that I may not always know best. I practice accepting that there can be more than one way to raise kids.  I practice accepting that I can survive the shame that will undeniably be thrust upon me by well-meaning observers who provide unsolicited parenting advice.

The best kept secret of co-parenting is that post-divorce shared parenting is a practice.  It is ok if we fail sometimes. All that really matters is that we keep trying. And the rewards for those efforts can be seen in our children’s smiles. I can help you start your co-parenting practice. You can receive the benefit of my professional knowledge and my personal experience when you mediate your divorce with me. It all starts when you schedule your free phone appointment.

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